March Madness marks the annual foray into little-known directional schools, memorable buzzer-beaters and the nightmare fuel that is the world of college mascots.
WASHINGTON 鈥� At their best, mascots are weird. Maybe some are funny or vaguely 鈥渃ute,鈥� but at the end of the day, they are humans inside anthropomorphic felt costumes. Some are fine, just fine. Some are not fine.
If you watch this year鈥檚 NCAA Tournament, you will be exposed to mascots in both categories. While I feel no need to warn you about the former, if you鈥檙e not well-versed in college basketball, you should really brace yourself for the latter. With 351 Division I teams, schools have gotten creative with not just their school nicknames, but with the characters that represent them. And some of those characters seem specifically designed to haunt your dreams.
So without further ado, here are the 10 most terrifying mascots in this year鈥檚 field of 68.
10. Sebastian the Ibis (Miami)
An ibis is a long-billed, somewhat crane-like bird, which on its own seems innocuous enough. This all comes down to the eyes. I know they鈥檙e supposed to be looking up, but instead they look vaguely cross-eyed, and perhaps vaguely evil, and either way it鈥檚 unnerving.
(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images
9. Brutus Buckeye (Ohio State)
Brutus has been around for so long it may be easy to take for granted the fact that he is an anthropomorphic buckeye nut. But his face is one that buries its way deeper into your subconscious the more you look at it. At first, you assume he鈥檚 smiling, but he鈥檚 not really. It鈥檚 more that his mouth is forced open 鈥� like his eyes 鈥� as if he鈥檚 being overinflated, past the point of no return.
(Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images)
Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images
8. Sparky the Sun Devil (Arizona State)
As my colleague Rob Woodfork pointed out, Sparky looks less like a devil than an old-timey movie villain, the kind with the overexaggerated gangster accent. 鈥淪hee, thish ish how we鈥檒l shteal all the gold from Ft. Knox, shee.鈥� But get past the pencil mustache and there鈥檚 also evil in those eyes 鈥� those white-pupiled eyes. Yep, now you鈥檒l never not see it.
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images
7. Willie the Wildcat (Kansas State)
The wildcat mascot head itself is only slightly creepy, with its beady little eyes 鈥� but that鈥檚 all there is to the costume. It鈥檚 a disembodied character head on top of a human body. That, friends, is terrifying.
(Photo by Ed Zurga/Getty Images)
Photo by Ed Zurga/Getty Images
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4. Killian (Iona)
Oh my god. Don鈥檛 do it. Don鈥檛 dump the ice bucket. This creature鈥檚 name is literally KILL IAN. Wait, Ian, is that you with the bucket? Run very far away, Ian!
(YouTube/Iona Gaels)
YouTube/Iona Gaels
3. WuShock (Wichita State)
A literal shock of wheat, the Wichita State Shocker looks like what the scarecrow of Wizard of Oz might have if, instead of lacking a brain, he ate them for dinner. I鈥檓 not saying he knows how to operate a chainsaw and has one in his garage at the ready, but I鈥檓 not not saying it.
(Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images
2. Purdue Pete (Purdue)
Why? Why is it 鈥� with the plastic 鈥� and the eyes 鈥� why? Pete is the masked face of Bodhi robbing banks in 鈥淧oint Break,鈥� except instead of actually following through with it, he鈥檚 suspended in permanent existential crisis. That sledgehammer 鈥� it’s been places, man.
(Photo by Eric Francis/Getty Images)
Photo by Eric Francis/Getty Images
1. Friar Dom (Providence)
THERE IS NO FRIAR, .
Just because we鈥檙e not the first to point out that Friar Dom should be banished to the depths of outer space doesn鈥檛 mean we鈥檙e wrong. Look at that photo 鈥� you can hear it howling. Please, think of the children. No, seriously, won鈥檛 you think of the children?
(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
